I had told him about how when I was young-- 8 years old! How I had those tools to hurt myself with, just a little bit though, clothes pins and string and whatever this tool is called, here on my desk, vicegrips. I've already used them and it is the perfect tool for what I like. the feeling of how brutal and cold and mindless the metal is, and how sometimes a sharp edge catches something delicate and there's nothing or no way to defend yourself against the hand behind the tool that was made for splitting screws or forcing them through solidness, and tools made for unfeeling matter, for metals or concrete or wood, tools made for every purpose without the thought for how it might fit into my flesh and cause me pleasure and pain. I was always a creative child.